I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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