he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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