so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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