Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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