I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
