Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
