i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
