Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
