Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize