Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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