you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
