Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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