Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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