I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
