hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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