No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
