"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
that is very illegal...i love you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
