walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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