His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
