im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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