Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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