So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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