im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
