pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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