dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
