I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
