be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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