Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
