8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
