Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm like, not good at living.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
