sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
