Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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