I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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