My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
