marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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