Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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