There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
