They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
