if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
