U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
