hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
