You're so nebulous sometimes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
