you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
