Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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