Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize