I feel like abortions should bother me more
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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