why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
