And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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