Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
