# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
