I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
