i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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