i was born a porn star she said
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
