you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
