Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i now understand why vodka
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
