That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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